In the same way we would appreciate a garden of flowers without expecting its pollen to intoxicate us, or reach out to pet a kitten without expecting to get lashed by its claws, it's almost a natural instinct to trust first. At least we would until the subject gives us a reason not to, such as if the garden of flowers wasn't a burst of beautiful colours but instead murky yellows and greens and browns, and smelt swamp-like; or if the kitten had one eye blinded, with scars across its body and made unfriendly growls. That's when we start to feel doubtful, because the subject is no longer giving off harmless, good vibes. 

Can anyone really say they don't fall into this category of people who judge upon impression? The garden could have been polluted and abandoned and simply in need of revival, the kitten could have been mistreated, scared, and in need of love. You don't know what got them into that state. We're making these flawed judgements all the time. What appears harmless, could very much be the most harmful, and vice versa... We know that, everyone knows that. Yet we continue trust ourselves with impressions. Even when we know a bit about somebody's background, I think it only gives us more space to think we're making the correct judgement. Oh they're Muslim? Oh they're white? Oh they're an international student? They must be "insert stereotype". Oh. 

That aside, let's think about how we trust in general. How many times have someone told you something they did and you believed them? How many people have told you something they thought and you believed it? It comes down to even the most basic what they did in the weekends, had for dinner, their fallout with their girlfriend/boyfriend last year... a comment about your hair. People could be lying to you through their teeth. So, back to my initial prompt - is your first point of action to trust, or to doubt? They're our age, friendly enough, we study the same thing/go to work at the same place, they laugh a lot; they must be a nice person. And so why should they lie? Wait... why shouldn't they? Why shouldn't the person in a suit lie as much as you'd think the homeless guy on the streets would? 

I've been having this internal conflict about who to trust, and upon what basis I am making such decisions for the past week, and it's funny how stereotypical I am without even realising it. My first point of action is always to trust before I doubt. But there's always two sides to everything, and once you start to doubt, you doubt it all. What determines a nice person? What doesn't? Do nice people lie, too? It gives us security when we're able to say "I trust 'this person'", and I want to be able to keep that sense of security and comfort. I want to think that I'm not wrong in trusting and thinking someone's a good person. But right now, everything I ever believed is falling apart right in front of me, I am falling apart... because I can't even trust myself any more.